The D!scovey wiThiN....

The white idol laden with garlands grinning at me, His gaze following, everywhere, I turn in that foyer.The idol seems to mock at me and say, "This constant thinking and confusion is utter waste,girl... I already have plans for you and they aren't going to change no matter how much pressure you take... I will sit here,smile and watch you perplexed,loosing patience,growing wild and crying your heart out.... just wishing that you calm down soon because things will happen as and when planned..." I know the secret behind that smile  but still the whirlpool of thoughts can't be controlled... This is where the difference comes between Him and me! 


I sit and enjoy the silence, watching people pray before the smiling deity and figuring out the conversations happening between the two... Are they equally confused,have they come here to fight with the deity for something that has gone wrong with them or plead for something or just drop by to say 'hi' like me ..... don't know that's difficult to figure out...


I close my eyes just to avoid the distraction from people watching, which I love to do.Suddenly a voice echoes chanting something. I think of opening my eyes and looking at the person but then gradually I get engrossed in the melody of her voice and the eyes only open after she has finished... I look at her, thanking her within for the few minutes of silence she brought within me....


I come out again, in the world of blaring horns..In the hustle and bustle of life- the getting up early which we just don't like, the job which sucks,the coming late fully frustrated, attending calls half-heartedly and sleeping with the sick feeling of going back to work again the next day, we might as well forget to breath had it not been an automatic process :).... Constantly fighting  the devil inside for which no bournvita or horlicks will help, is an added work. Our run for money to help us live life makes us forget to enjoy life... we no longer are the same.The inner silence of being and awareness takes a back seat.


The silence that I gathered today from that half an hour visit to this temple was rejuvenating.The whirlpools will keep coming, the perplexed sessions will continue, screwing up will no doubt never stop.... but these small little things of you, discovering yourselves are boosters in your life.... and,yes, I end it with the chants which helped me... 


Om sai raam....
shri sai raam....
jai jai sai raam....
satguru sai raam.....




P.S. The white deity with the smiling face, I still wonder what your plans are for me and when are you going to disclose your clandestine intelligence operations .....